Stranger Danger and Personal Safety Tips for Children of All Ages

Stranger Danger and Personal Safety Tips for Children of All Ages

As a parent, teaching our children about stranger danger is something we all wish we didn’t have to do. But unfortunately, it is very necessary.

It might be true that the overwhelming majority of cases of sexual or physical abuse against children happen from people they know. But the high-profile murders of 13-year-olds Karmein Chan (1991) and Daniel Morecombe (2003), as well as 15-year-old Carly Ryan (2007), highlight the need to teach our children about taking personal safety precautions.

The subject might be confronting. But we all want our children to feel confident, curious, and independent, while also knowing how to stay safe in everyday situations. Thankfully, organisations like the Daniel Morcombe Foundation have revolutionised child safety education in Australia. Established by Daniel’s parents, Bruce and Denise, it advocates for the "Recognise, React, Report" strategy.

The idea of “stranger danger” has evolved over time, and today the focus is less on fearing strangers. Instead, it centres on helping children recognise safe and unsafe situations, understand their boundaries, and know when to ask for help.

These skills can be taught in a calm and gentle way that doesn’t riddle children with fear. Here are some tips on how to do that.

What To Do If Your Child is Affected By Stranger Danger

First things first. If your child is affected by stranger danger, it is important to know what to do.

Should the incident have just occurred, make sure the child is safe. If necessary, remove them from the scene to somewhere they feel comfortable, for instance, home. Then make sure you call the police immediately and seek their advice on whether an ambulance should be called or whether you should visit a hospital.

As hard as it might be, it is important to keep yourself calm. This will avoid worsening any anxiety your child might be feeling. It is also vital to provide plenty of verbal reassurance that they did nothing wrong, and give them a hug if they are amenable to one.

A little later, perhaps the next day, you might want to seek legal advice. This will help you understand your child’s rights. You can contact Astor Legal's assault lawyers if you are not sure who to call.

If the incident was traumatising for them, you should consider speaking with a child counsellor or therapist. The ACCCE provides some excellent resources for those who experienced severe online abuse or exploitation.

What Does “Stranger Danger” Actually Mean Today?

The traditional idea of stranger danger focused on avoiding interaction with people you do not know. While this is still relevant, the emphasis is more on teaching children about stranger awareness rather than instilling fear. In other words, helping them stay alert without feeling anxious in public spaces.

Modern personal safety advice teaches children to focus on behaviour instead of labels. It revolves around recognising that unsafe situations can involve both strangers and people they already know. Indeed, one of its core principles is based around understanding what’s really important, which is recognising actions that feel wrong and then knowing what to do next.

Part of teaching children about strangers now includes identifying safe adults, knowing where to seek help, and learning when to trust their instincts. This approach empowers children to stay safe in public by encouraging them to be more confident and less fearful.

How to Talk to Children About Personal Safety Without Scaring Them

You might find it hard to broach the subject of stranger danger and personal safety with your kids. But, unfortunately, as you can’t be with your kids all the time, it is a conversation definitely worth having.

That said, talking to kids about personal safety does not have to be a big, serious discussion. In fact, it will probably be more impactful if you do so in a normal and relaxed manner. Children are more likely to listen if they don’t feel like they are being lectured. So, try to bring up personal safety in a conversational manner, during everyday moments, like walking to school, heading to the shops, or talking about something you’ve watched on TV.

Depending on their age, you can kickstart the latter by watching Creeped Out. An anthology show on Netflix and the BBC that often explores unsettling encounters and encourages caution around unknown individuals.

When talking to your children, try to use clear, simple language that helps them understand what you mean without feeling overwhelmed. It may also help to ask them what they think or what they would do in certain situations. Doing this gives them a chance to think things through, ask questions, and gives them reassurance and confidence that they will be doing the right thing.

Personal Safety Tips For Children of Different Ages

For them to work best, conversations about personal safety need to be age-appropriate. Here are some specific tips you can employ if your children fall into the following age groups.

Toddlers and Preschoolers

Young children will probably benefit most from simple, consistent rules they can easily remember. Teaching them basic ideas such as staying close, holding hands near roads, and knowing who their trusted adults are is a good starting point.

Repetition is a wise strategy at this age. Using visual reminders, stories, and gentle role-play helps toddlers understand what to do if they feel lost or unsure. 

Primary School-Aged Children

As children start school and spend more time away from parents, the personal safety lessons you teach them should naturally expand. Educating them about stranger awareness at this age ideally involves helping them understand personal boundaries. Additionally, it should be about making sure they know it is okay to say NO if they find themselves in an uncomfortable situation with someone they don’t know.

It is also recommended to introduce them to simple routines, such as checking in after school, knowing who their emergency contacts are, and recognising safe places and adults.

Tweens and Teenagers

Tweens and teenagers experience greater freedom and responsibility. However, this makes the need to have ongoing safety conversations even more important. At this stage, discussions can extend to what to do on public transport, in social situations, and being aware of busy environments.

You should also advise older children about how to stay safe online. Shockingly, for the 2024-25 financial year, the ACCCE received 82,764 reports of online child sexual exploitation. In addition, according to the ABS, 70% of children had a negative experience online, and 31% were sent inappropriate content. Much of which was instigated by people they don’t know.

Talking through real-life scenarios can help teenagers reflect on their choices and recognise potential risks.