Like a lot of areas of raising children we best help them help themselves. One of the ways we teach this at Rhee Taekwondo is by teaching the following;

Instead of going and LOOKING for a friend, go out and BE a friend. We ask our students; if you could design the perfect friend, what would you program them to act like and do?

This results in a list of what they find desirable in a friend that includes things like; be nice, respectful, helpful, say nice things, not bossy, doesn't lie, keeps secrets and a variety of other attractive behaviours.

We then encourage the students to BE those things, instead of only looking for them in others, because that's what just about everyone admires in a potential friend. They learn that if they can show people that they're genuinely a fun, generous and trustworthy person to be around then they will have no shortage of people wanting to be friends with them, they won't have to go looking”.

There is no magic trick to making friends.  Friendship is a skill that children can be coached in and learn with daily practice, just like any other skill.  Friendships depend on emotional skills, self-regulation and social competence. These include elements such as understanding the emotions of others, trust, negotiation, compromise, cooperation and knowing how to apologise, and all together with knowing how to participate in conversations, being able to make amends and showing sympathy.  

By taking the time to be empathetic, understanding and engaged, we can actively teach children how to build friendships in positive and healthy ways.

From my perspective, keeping kids active together and giving them challenges in a team environment. For example having children put into teams and given tasks to achieve. Nominate two leaders in each team then rotate the leaders until everyone has had a chance to lead. I believe by having to work together it places you in a position of bonding with others which creates friendship.

Navigating friendships is an essential part of a child's social/ emotional development. Having friends helps us all develop a sense of belonging and boosts our happiness. Developing friendships is incredibly important for a child as it helps them establish their sense of identity, self-confidence, self-esteem and identify their individual strengths. It also builds their capacity for empathy and developing skills such as turn taking, cooperating and listening to others.

Parents, carers and educators can foster friendships in children by modelling healthy friendship behaviour, and connecting with them (and their friends) in meaningful ways. Exploring issues around friendships is also essential as children will come across challenges such as conflict and unhealthy friendships as they grow. In the Creative Counselling space, we often use role play in the form of puppets, toys and drama games that supports the child's understanding of healthy vs unhealthy friendships, and helps them to cultivate an awareness of nurturing connection.

Taking your children to an art gallery can definitely foster friendship. The Art Gallery is an inclusive space where personal expression is valued by all who participate regardless of their abilities. Fostering connections with other creative people by viewing their artworks including all different mediums of works gives a wider view of the world. The gallery is the perfect place to have an ART DATE with your child and maybe invite some of their friends along.

Forming friendships and connection in social settings is a vital part of social and emotional development in children. However, friendships are not always straightforward, and children can sometimes struggle with confidence within social settings. Younger children need support in navigating social environments and developing connection and friendships. 

As adults, in home and social environments we should model appropriate friendship behaviours to children through connection, positive interactions, showing kindness and empathy to others and encouraging cooperative behaviours. During social interactions it is important to remember that children are still developing pro social behaviours and may need some assistance in navigating situations that require sharing and negotiating with others, this is a time when adults can encourage communication between the children and role model appropriate behaviours to establish a collaborative outcome. The long-term goal in developing connection and friendships in children is having a positive sense of identity and experiencing respectful and responsive relationships through their life journey.