How to foster friendship in Children
This month we noticed a lot of chatter through our parents & friends group and in the community around children and friendships. This is a hot topic in our household at the moment so we went out to our community to find out what they thought.
We know friendships give your school-age child a sense of belonging, builds self-esteem, and helps them develop social skills. We think it is important to support our child’s friendships, we do this by getting to know friends and organising playdates. However, it is when children have friendship troubles, that can be tricky, we know it helps to talk about it. If you’re concerned about your child’s friendships, it’s always good to talk with your child’s teacher, chappy or support person.
We asked seven people in our Wide Bay community who work with children every day; how parents, carers and educators may help children foster good healthy friendships and this is what they told us.
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Like a lot of areas of raising children we best help them help themselves. One of the ways we teach this at Rhee Taekwondo is by teaching the following;
Instead of going and LOOKING for a friend, go out and BE a friend. We ask our students; if you could design the perfect friend, what would you program them to act like and do?
This results in a list of what they find desirable in a friend that includes things like; be nice, respectful, helpful, say nice things, not bossy, doesn't lie, keeps secrets and a variety of other attractive behaviours.
We then encourage the students to BE those things, instead of only looking for them in others, because that's what just about everyone admires in a potential friend. They learn that if they can show people that they're genuinely a fun, generous and trustworthy person to be around then they will have no shortage of people wanting to be friends with them, they won't have to go looking”.
Nathan Van der Klugt - Rhee Tae Kwon Do Bundaberg
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Give children space where they can come together in a multi age environment that requires children to collaborate and foster interests. When children are engaged and see others have the same interests or values they can enter play and form a bond, friendships come from there after time.
Elizabeth - Terra Tribe Farm
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There is no magic trick to making friends. Friendship is a skill that children can be coached in and learn with daily practice, just like any other skill. Friendships depend on emotional skills, self-regulation and social competence. These include elements such as understanding the emotions of others, trust, negotiation, compromise, cooperation and knowing how to apologise, and all together with knowing how to participate in conversations, being able to make amends and showing sympathy.
By taking the time to be empathetic, understanding and engaged, we can actively teach children how to build friendships in positive and healthy ways.