Preparing for the Birds and Bees Talk

Is it that time already?

Well it’s not quite that time in our house yet, but it’s definitely time to continue to lay the ground work.  I have a 7 year old son and a daughter who will turn 10 very soon.  Neither of them are showing signs of starting to enter puberty but I’m one who likes to be prepared.  I have started looking at what resources are available for parents and kids as an introduction to what puberty is.  I especially need help with the boy stuff, being a single mum with no brothers!

As a parent I’ve always been conscious of those awkward questions kids tend to ask us.  I’ve been careful to try and not look embarrassed when confronted with them so that I do not give off a vibe that there are certain questions that they cannot ask me.  I want my kids to feel that they can ask me anything and that I will not judge, laugh or ridicule them. I think open communication is really important especially as they head into their teenage years.

There is no privacy in my house.  I still cannot go to the toilet on my own without someone barging in and needing something.  I have been caught a few times and asked ‘what’s that?’.  The first time it happened I was in turmoil on the inside but just calmly said that this is just something that happens to girls each month and both of them have been happy with this explanation. In truth I have been preparing myself for these questions for some time.  Whilst I did not know how I was going to answer the question one thing I was really sure of was that I knew it was very important to remain cool, calm and collected and to deliver a short age appropriate answer. I think it is really important for parents to be prepared and to think ahead about how they are going to handle these types of situations when they come up.

More recently my daughter has started to ask “Will this happen to me?”, which has been accompanied with a scared, deer in headlights type of look!  I’ve been able to calmly explain to her that yes it will but that she has to grow boobs first!  Phew…….the look of relief on her face was priceless.  It’s about then that I realised I needed to start to look for some resources to help me explain all this to her.

After some research into what is avialable to support parents in educating their children on puberty, I have settled on 3 books, all by the same authors, Fay Angelo, Heather Anderson and Rose Stewart :

• Secret Girls’ Business
• More Secret Girls’ Business
• Secret Boys’ Business (second edition)

These books are perfect for my kids with lots of pictures and plain simple language.  They are short and to the point books containing lots of valuable easy to read and digest information.  Secret Girls’ Business is perfect for the stage that my daughter is at.  The book goes through exactly what changes are going to take place in her body and how she can prepare for these changes.  It explains what a period is, how she will know when she gets her period, what she will need and how she will feel.  It also briefly touches on bras and the different types.  It’s a very positive book and the illustrations are of young girls not teenagers.  The back of the book contains handy tips for how to approach the subject with your kids with special sections just for men, schools and teachers.  This book is short, compact and exactly what I need right now.  My daughter and I devoured it yesterday afternoon on the lounge together.

More Secret Girls’ Business and Secret Boys’ Business are set out in the same format but with more detail.  They each devote two very brief pages to how babies are made.  They cover the physical changes, pimples, moods, personal hygiene, girlfriends, boyfriends, self esteem, body rights and protection.  Secret Boys’ Business also covers erections, foreskins, circumcision, wet dreams, masturbation, moods, it’s all in there!  They both contain handy hints and tips for parents at the rear of the book in more detail than in Secret Girls Business.

I’m so glad I found these books they are exactly what I’m looking for.  I’m hoping that they will make this process less daunting for both myself and my children.  I certainly feel as though I’m equipped with what information to reveal, when and how.

You can find all of these books online through fishpond.  I’d love to hear if you have used them or if there are other resources you have that have been helpful.

Preparing for the birds and bees talk – is it that time already?